Before I started working at my current job I had some very different ideals.

I thought that all poor and under-educated people were that way because of a lack of opportunities and the crab-in-the-barrel mentality. I thought that these people might be more prone to being mean and nasty because of the hard nature of their lives. And that all they needed was a little help ( some teach a person to fish ideology) and some compassion.

These views have changed.................................................................................

I have often been told that I live in my own little fantasy world, where everybody is nice (unless they have a reason for not being so) and most things make logical sense.

@ this place nothing seems to make logical sense.

And I actually hope that nobody reads this, but I'm just starting to realize that some poor people aren't mean because of their circumstances, they're mean just because some people are just ASSHOLES.............................................................................................

These same people would probably be ASSHOLES even if they were rich. Its part of human nature. Some people choose to make lemonade out of lemons, some people choose to ignore the lemons in their lives and hope they disappear and there are some people who CHOOSE to throw the lemons in their lives at the unsuspecting masses walking past them! These people find joy in making others unhappy.

I use to subscribe to the ideology that most "bad" people were that way because of something that happened in their childhood to make them so.

As a small child one of favorites movies was " The Bad Seed".

I think about that movie now and I realize that some people are born sociopaths.

Some people are just cheats, liars, and deceitful. They are how they are and no amount of "niceness" (lol) on my part is going to change that.

And the more I think about it its not my job to change them. That's God's job and he does things on his own time-table, not mine.

So what I've realized is that I've got to focus on the things in my life that I can change and that I do have control over.

And thats me!

I can't worry about why Suzy Q talks about me or why Johnny P lies on me.

I can only focus on making me the best person that I can be and what I can't change I know that God can. :)

I'm No Vicki!!!

For those of you that follow the Housewives of Orange County then you know who I'm referring to. Yet even she manages to have found a husband. Don seems very sweet and good natured, but maybe also a push-over and henpecked. Sweet and good-natured are qualities that I want in a man, but the other two just would not do. I can at times have a very dominant personality and I need someone who can go toe to toe with me if the need arises. I think Vicki comes off as an overbearing bitch at times because Don is so laid back and easy going. There were times when I was yelling at the TV, telling Don to grow a pair and stand-up for himself. It now seems as though Vicki has seen the error of her ways and has made an impressive effort to save her marriage and show her husband the love and respect that he seems to deserve. I'm very proud of her. Now back to me...........................

Why am I still single???

Is it because I have kids?
I don't believe so. I know plenty of women who have children and have still managed to find a man to love them and their kids.

Is it because I don't seem to be the marrying kind?
Now this is a hot topic for me because I was just thinking about the fact that I don't have that damsel in distress quality. Men do not rush to my aid to save me. I've often been called an ice-queen. I just do not seem to possess that tender quality that makes men want to rescue me. I have no problem being affectionate with my man and letting the man take charge. To be quite honest its a relief sometimes. It feels good to let someone else make the decisions for a change sometimes. I have no problem letting a good man steer the boat, but I'm not about to let anybody crash my shit. Ya feel me! lol Just joking but seriously, I will follow your lead as long as I think you know what you're doing. Once I see that you're about to hit a rock either we decide together what the next step should be or move cause I'm about to knock to out the way, grab the wheel and keep my shit afloat!