Father.........

I'm listening to Shekinah Glory and on one of the tracks one of the ministers is talking about his father and the kind of influence he was on him. I usually shy away from these types of songs because they make my heart heavy. My parents divorced when I was around 6 yrs old and I didn't really see my father anymore until I was about 15 and then only at school. Even that wasn't very often because I really didn't have a need to go down his hallway so to this day we do not have a close relationship. I don't have a close relationship with my mother either but I am thankful for all that they both do for my family. I made some terrible mistakes in my life, but I never thought that my children would be punished for them. They too are fatherless and watching them I realize exactly how important it is to have that male bond/love/discipline. Unfortunately their father is a very handsome, self-absorbed, good-time fella. He is always the life of the party, but that is where his priorities lie. On having a good time and looking good while doing it. I have been told that I shouldn't let him get away with that and that I should force him to for his kids. And I must admit that it is very hard, but the Lord has blessed us so that we are not on public assistance, I work full time, and my kids are always neat and well dressed when we go out so I don't bother him. I truly feel that when he grows up and evaluates his life, he's gonna realize exactly what he has missed out on. He's going to one day measure himself and find that he is lacking in the worth of a man category. When we were young and carefree I loved him without abandon, but when it stopped being fun and real life came crashing in on us he abandoned me and ultimately our children. I don't blame him or hate him. I should have known better. I knew what I wanted in a man, but I got so caught up in having fun that I stayed to long, strayed off my path and got lost. The clock struck 12 and it was midnight, but I was still in the castle partying. I forgot all about the warning that my fairy god-mother gave me and I stayed at the party until the end. Well we did have a lot of fun together and a lot of good times too. But unfortunately for my children I'm stuck here cleaning up the mess by myself. I wouldn't wish this life on anyone but I do know that I am stronger as a person and hopefully a lot wiser. :) I'm slowly but surely finding my way back on my path, but this time I have little people following me. And you always have more incentive to do better when you have people counting on you.

Can't we all just get along.......................

Well after reading all the comments on what was my favorite blog I am very disheartened. http://verysmartbrothas.com was my go to site for laughs and to see what other black folks between the ages of 20-35 were thinking about certain topics. But what I thought was a harmless post call "Black Girls, White men, and Cameras" made the ugly str8 jump up out of these people. The comments section turned from funny to light-skinned women are the cats meow and sorry for the blackity skinned women that men only really want by default. Internet thugs came out and showed out! Anything that didn't coincide with what some of the "regulars" thought was said to be ignorant and dumb. And then the tangent about the abuse suffered by light-skinned little girls at the hands of the big blackity skinned darkies were was just awful to watch. I kept hoping that someone would come in and moderate some of the comments, but it didn't happen. In the end all I learned was how sought after light-skinned women are by most men because of their light skin and long hair. I hope I never hear any of my children say any of this foolishness because I will let them know quick that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Features don't make the person. Your looks might get you in the door but if you don't have much going on upstairs and are as shallow as a puddle then, what self respecting, real man would want you anyway?

Missing those 3 little words...........................

Its amazing how much I miss hearing those 3 little words that mean so much.